I am not a mind reader, he knows that, I know that but why won’t he talk to me? This is not one of those cases where two can play the game. I am not the type of person who goes quiet, even my high school class prefect got tired of writing my name in the noisemaker list, it became automatic incase the teacher passed by to ask who has been talking in class. So my going silent on him because he just went on silent on me isn’t an option I can pursue, but as much as I want him to talk to me I also want to understand why he went silent in the first place.
You can imagine my relief when I went to register for the next Udada event and realize that was the same thing they were going to talk about, only that they had thee Oyunga Pala talking about it. I know him to talk to the men about women and I am curious on what he has to say to us about the men. And well, he does have his sense of humor so I might end up laughing my man drama away.
When the day finally comes and I check in at All Saints Cathedral, my excitement is at its brim and everything is just background until he takes the stage, and boy did my ears just develop antennas! Oh and before I move on to what I learnt on Why men go Silent, let me mention his voice hmmmmm....
The trick here is to understand how your man communicates and to realize that you cannot make him talk. But he was also quick to add, “If a man can’t step up to communicate, save yourself the trouble and step out.” Men never quit. They never make it formal. Their silence is a sign that things aren’t going to be better and they hope you figure it out somehow without them having to necessarily talk.
Mothers give their sons so much leeway as they grow up. Sometimes men get into relationships looking for their mothers: to always let them get away with mistakes. Therefore, it is important that to have standards and clear boundary lines when getting into relationships, and to not give discount cards once the lines are crossed.
One thing that was coming out clearly was that his silence has nothing to do with me and no amount of worrying whether it was something I did or did not or said and did not say was going to make him talk.
Ooh yes, I even learnt a new term! Beauty definition, they don’t call it make up in Udada, it’s called beauty definition, come to think of it, the beauty is already there, it is just defining it.